We all have obligations. That's fine, nothing wrong with that. We need to accept the responsibilities we have and make good on them. What really speaks volumes however is the stuff we do aren't obliged to do. The things we do just because we have a passion to do them. That's how it should be with such things. As people though we sometimes turn such things into obligations, doing it because we have before or because everyone else does. When that happens we can lose sight of what these acts signified to us in the first place, so it's always nice when someone can remind us.
I had a bit of surprise about three weekends ago. On Sunday morning. I was woken by My Lady calling the MiniMosher through to our room and telling "remember that thing you were doing this week?". At hearing this the MiniMosher bolted out of bedroom only to return with a small bag of presents for me. And I tell this first without giving you any of the context of why I was given these presents to you that maybe you might get get an idea of how surprised I was.
But to make sense of this little act of context I should probably fill you in on the bigger picture.
You see, about three weekends ago it was Father's day and it just so happened the MiniMosher had been staying with us that particular weekend. I was oblivious to this particular day meaning to anything to me personally. I mean, obviously, I wanted to wish my dad all the best because he's my dad, I love him and he's pretty damn awesome even if I do say myself (look Dad, you made it into my blog). But to me, well, I figured it would just be another day. It wasn't going to be a day ABOUT me, is what I'm trying to say. After all, the MiniMosher would want all festivities to go to his Dad. And although I figured that in time we would begin to see me as a second Dad, I honestly didn't think it would be so soon.
As far as step-parenting goes, this must be how feels to arrive. Like when band feel like they've arrived when they play their first big headline gig. In terms of being a NotDad I was pretty much crowd surfing at the O2 Arena while playing a guitar solo.
Now, I'm gonna get a bit on the emotional, gushy side. I try to this keep this blog light, funny and easy-going but I can't overstate how much this meant to me. If there was a statement that MiniMosher cares about me as much as I do about him, this was it. I remember My Lady saying to the MiniMosher as I reeling from the surprise "told you he'd probably cry a little" ...that's right, there were tears. Obviously manly, rocker tears that split the floorboards as the struck them, but tears none the less. And those tears were caused by one particular present. A photo frame. A little silver photo frame with the words "Family" along the top and photo within it of My Lady, the MiniMosher and myself all standing together. Wow.
My Lady was beaming with pride later as she told me how he had picked all the presents himself and insisted on using all his own pocket money to get them. The little man had acquitted himself so well.
Father's Day is now a big deal to me. Bigger than it was before. Okay, it may be a kind of made up holiday but that doesn't mean it can't have a big sentiment behind it. On Father's Day this year the MiniMosher showed he had chosen me to be part of his family, to be one of his Dads. He was under no obligation to do so, it's something he wanted to do. I think maybe on Father's and Mother's day we sometimes we give cards and gifts out of habit without thinking about what we are saying by giving them. As someone who wasn't a father last year, I realise by giving those cards and gifts we are letting those people know the stature they have in our lives and esteem we hold them in inside our hearts. We are their family. So when you give or receive these presents, no matter how small they are, remember what they mean to your whole family.
Happy belated Father's Day and happy early Mother's Day to Mums, Dads, StepMums and NotDads everywhere.
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